Is It Sad to Drink Alone? My Take on Social and Solitary Drinking

Many people ask me about the implications of drinking alone versus drinking socially. As a solution focused clinical hypnotherapist, I've often encountered clients who worry about whether their solitary drinking habits are problematic or simply a personal choice. This topic has resonated with me for years, prompting me to explore it deeply through my own life, experiences and those of my clients.

From my observations, drinking in social settings often seems to enhance the mood of the individuals involved. You might notice that when you're out with friends, a glass of wine or a pint of beer can make you feel more relaxed, talkative, and cheerful. It's not just about the alcohol - it's the connection, the shared laughs, and the sense of belonging that amplify these feelings.

However, when you switch the setting to your living room, alone with the same drink, the experience can be starkly different. Without the social interaction, alcohol’s effects might feel more muted, sometimes even leaving you feeling down or reflective rather than uplifted. This aligns with recent research, which suggests that social settings can significantly enhance the euphoric effects of alcohol due to increased dopamine activity in the brain. It's fascinating to see how the same substance can have such different effects depending on the environment.

The Human Givens approach provides a useful framework for understanding why certain behaviours, like relying on specific habits for comfort, may develop. At its core, this approach suggests that we are all born with innate physical and emotional needs - such as the need for security, autonomy, and social connection, and the resources to meet them. When these needs are not adequately fulfilled, we may unconsciously adopt behaviours that temporarily fill these gaps but may not be sustainable or healthy in the long term. By addressing these needs directly and finding healthier ways to meet them, individuals can reduce their reliance on less constructive habits and enhance their overall well-being. As a solution-focused therapist, my role is to guide clients in recognising and harnessing their innate strengths, enabling them to cultivate more balanced and fulfilling lives. By focusing on the positive changes they wish to achieve, I help them utilise these inner resources to navigate their journeys with greater confidence and clarity. The client is always the expert on themselves!

In my practice, I've seen how clients who enjoy drinking socially often do so as part of a broader pattern of positive social interaction. They connect, unwind, and celebrate together, with alcohol being just one element of the experience. On the other hand, those who drink alone might do so for different reasons; sometimes to cope with stress or loneliness.

In my experience working with clients and reflecting on my own life, I've found that it's important to explore the underlying reasons behind solitary drinking. I encourage individuals to consider questions like: 'What positive changes might occur if I chose not to drink alone?' or 'What small steps can I take to enjoy social activities without relying on alcohol?' Additionally, thinking about moments when you didn’t feel the need to drink and what was different about those times can offer valuable insights. These questions can help you focus on your strengths and identify practical solutions for making healthier choices, or choices you prefer to have but felt you never could.

As a solution focused hypnotherapist, my aim is to support individuals by working with them toward their positive changes, as I was taught in clinical hypnotherapy. This approach is not about judging or imposing my own perspective but rather helping clients create a sense of balance, uncover the positive intentions behind their choices, and achieve their goals and preferred future.. When certain behaviours begin to feel less like a choice and more like a necessity, it may be a good time to explore new and more fulfilling ways to manage your emotions and enhance your well-being.

In conclusion, enjoying a drink alone isn’t inherently problematic - it's only a concern if it starts to feel like one for you (it’s only a problem if it is a problem). However, if alcohol use begins to lean towards dependency or addiction, whether in social or solitary settings, it’s important to address it. Staying mindful of your reasons for drinking and how it affects you can help maintain a healthy balance. If you ever find yourself reflecting on your relationship with alcohol, remember that there are many fulfilling ways to manage stress, cope with life, and enhance your well-being to be the best version of yourself.

And if you need support in exploring those options, I’m here to help.

~ Lisa Williams Edgar ~

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new." — Socrates