Growing up with or living alongside addiction can be an insidious experience. It has a way of casting a shadow that reaches beyond the person directly afflicted, ensnaring those around them. It's as if the addiction has invisible tendrils, hooking and reeling in even those who aren't the primary victims, making them feel as entangled and trapped as the one with the addiction.
Addiction is a powerful and multifaceted force that can manifest in many forms. For me, its most haunting presence was witnessed through the faces of those closest to me as a child, in fact my first memories – my father, mother, uncle. Then in my brother, friends, and for a long period, the reflection staring back at me in the mirror. Over the years, I've also seen the grip of addiction still holding on to many of those attending AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meetings, and more recently, through the stories of many of my clients.
Growing up my home wasn't merely touched by addiction; it was enveloped by its turbulent aftermath. More than the act of reaching for a drink or substance, it was the sinister shroud of abuse, sadness, bursts of anger, and oppressive silences that marked its presence. Childhood memories tinged with fear for my brother and myself are a stark reminder of how addiction, a cruel and emotionally destructive intruder, found a home in our lives. The ripple effects, often concealed, of addictive behaviours lead to pain, anger, aggression, abuse, isolation, depression, and despair. Adults who grow up alongside addiction may grapple with a range of challenges, from heightened risk of depression and anxiety to relationship complications and the shadow of adopting addictive habits themselves.
The entrapment of addiction is insidious. It can easily deceive us into seeing it as a comforting ally. Ready to assist in moments of self-doubt, it promises confidence, strength, and escape. It positions itself as a tool for celebration, consolation, relaxation, or distraction. Yet, this ally – be it a substance or behaviour – often betrays us with hollow commitments it never fulfils. Just when we think we're free, addiction finds sly avenues to re-enter our lives.
Just as nature navigates the shifts of the seasons, our brain perceives change, especially unfamiliar ones, as potential threats. This natural reaction, rooted deeply in our evolutionary history, can sometimes create barriers in our quest for personal growth. By understanding this dynamic and combining the power of science, nature, and nurture, we learn not to confront but to accept the feelings of pain, discomfort, and uncertainty. We then craft a unique plan to manage them and move forward.
When I discovered Solution Focused Hypnotherapy in my fifties, it was a monumental game-changer. By understanding how our brain operates, we can break down the sequences and associations that trigger negative feelings or cravings. This understanding can help diminish the intensity of emotions or feelings of anxiety, promoting calm, positive control and relaxation. As we reduce stress chemicals in our body, we rewire how the brain processes thoughts and feelings. Utilising certain solution-focused approaches and techniques taught in therapy, we're empowered to reset our brain's interpretation and reaction to stress and anxiety.
Throughout my career, I've witnessed countless transformations of people from diverse backgrounds seeking their light. With Solution Focused Hypnotherapy, it's not just about "fixing" or addressing superficial issues. It's about moving from merely surviving to actively thriving, dancing through life's storms and stepping confidently into the sunshine.
In every journey, there are crossroads and moments of clarity, times when we see the vastness of our challenges and yet, the infinite possibilities that lie ahead. I've walked through some shadowed paths, and I've seen the depths to which life can sometimes pull us and to the point of almost ending it. But it's in the heart of these struggles that we often find our truest strength. Every individual story, including mine, is a testament to the invincible spirit within us all. In the intricate dance of life, each of us faces unique challenges and joys, shadows and sunlight. My journey, like so many others, has been filled with both. I share my experiences not as a beacon of perfection, but as someone who's navigated the valleys and stood at the top of mountains, understanding the ebb and flow of life's journey. Every individual has within them the potential to overcome, transform, and shine. Each one of us carries a unique strength and story, and our paths are woven with moments of challenge and serenity.
As a solution-focused therapist, supervisor, founder and director of New Horizon Training, I am deeply committed to guiding individuals out of those shadows, equipping them with tools and strategies to help themselves forge a brighter, more empowered path forward.
As we walk this path together, let's cherish every lesson and moment of connection. For in even the most challenging times, there lies the promise of understanding, the strength of community, the warmth of shared compassion, and for those fortunate enough, the love and support of a partner, children, family and friends.
And that is why I am still here. Thank you for reading.
